Best DS Community Quotes Ever!

Originally posted by Pennarin:

Nightdruid (refering to mixing crack into jello tabletop miniatures):
Heh…I guess the real question then becomes “who is in more danger? The caracters facing that sorcerer-king, or the players ODing on the props…”

Eric Anondson (posting to Strutinan):
Get off your cross, we need the wood.

Jon (posting to someone virtually immune to constructive comments)
Black Knight: “I’m invincible!”
Arthur: “You’re a looney”

Jon (posting about someone who repeatedly didn’t see what was in front of its eyes):
ARTHUR: “Look, you stupid bastard. You’ve got no arms left.”
BLACK KNIGHT: “Yes I have.”
ARTHUR: “Look!”
BLACK KNIGHT: “Just a flesh wound.”

Phoenix_Down (adressing a quote showing that an accessory totally destroyed what was written in a novel):
[COLOR=darkred]Gah! Burn it! Burn it! it’s incorrect… it’s…

Dark… Lens… not… in… Crys… tal… pit…

falls over dead[/COLOR]

Rev. Ravenscrye Grey Daegmorgan:
For the same reason you don’t add a multiverse to Tolkien’s works, so that Wolverine and the X-men can run around fighting orcs in Middle-Earth, you don’t include multiversal travel in an Athasian cosmology.

Greyorm (after reading the following comment:“The whole Mind Lords of the Last Sea plays out like a Star Trek episode anyway, all you’d need is Kirk to beam down and either have them rediscover love and decide their time was past or destroy the computer behind the wall with illogic.”):

[COLOR=DarkRed]“Captain, it is illogical for dolphins to have evolved and survived in this climate.”

“I…know that…Spock. We are…at the mercy…of TSR’s R&D department. Bones…quick…come up with a deus ex machina…to save us…and end this…terrible episode.”

“Damnit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a script editor! We would need a miracle or a game designer to get rid of this ridiculous section of this setting!”

“Regardless…I’m going to go make it with…that hot Mind Lord – Lady – whatever.”

“Captain! There’s a giant meteor full o’ sleepin’ halflings coming doon on top o’ your position! Its impact is gonna destroy the entire region! I’ve got ta beam ya out noo before it’s too late!”

“Scotty! I haven’t made it with the hot, alien, chick…yet! We…need…more…time!”

(Ironically, the Mind Lords could just send them all back in time…hahahahahaha…so, once sent to the past…)

“Spock, Bones. Tell me…should we…tell…the Mind Lords’ past selves…about…the meteor?”

“I believe that would be a mistake, captain. The sudden and unforseen annihilation caused by the crash-landing of the halfling meteor-spaceship in the Last Sea region is the only event capable of ending the region’s inherent temporal and disbelief-suspension instabilities.”

“Then…we must allow…this meteor…to strike!”

“But Jim, think of the loss of lives! We have a duty to these people to preserve and protect them. And what about the setting integrity?”

“I know…Bones…but think of the cost…to the fans of the setting…if we don’t! These…people…here…in the Last Sea…are just poorly written shells, at the…mercy…of an underpaid development staff…from…a bankrupt…game publishing company. This…is a better end…for them. Scotty…beam us…up.”

“Besides, doctor, setting integrity went out the window when half the Sorcerer Kings were killed at the end of the Prisam Pentad.”

“Why you heartless, green-blooded machine…”

(–whhhheeeeeeeee-- transporter noise…roll credits…)[/COLOR]

Hiero5ant (describing the fleshing out of an Athasian city-state):
Take 20,000 illiterate peasants from the worst war-torn slums of Mogadishu. Then take 500 spoiled rich kids from Orange County and put them behind a wall in the middle of the city. Then take 500 blackshirt thugs from fascist italy, give them military-grade firepower, and unlimited police authority. Then take a 2,000 year old genocidal demon whose every action brings the universe one step closer to destruction and who can access the innermost thoughts of any of his citizens, make him about character-level 50 and put him in charge of everything.

Pennarin (responding to the voicing of complex opinions as to what edition is better):
[COLOR=DarkRed]-srcatches crotch-
-stops looking for mate long enough to answer question-

2E bad.
3E good.

-grunt-
-clubs neighbor and steals his mate-
[/COLOR]

Dirk0001 (in the style of high burlesque satire):
[COLOR=DarkRed]Templar Actually Took Bribe, Says Stunned Mugger

Local freeman and well-known criminal Afgar the Brutal was stunned when a local templar accepted a 2-bit bribe to “look the other way” after catching him subjecting a disabled beggar to a particularly violent assault.
“It was crazy,” Afgar told The Cactus during an interview immediately following the event. “There I was, stabbing this poor guy with a ceramic shard I’d picked up after smashing his collections-mug over his head, when that templar walks up and asks me what I was doing. ‘Um - violently attacking this poor man?’ says I, caught off guard. But despite my obvious guilt, the templar settled for a measly 2 bits! 2 BITS!”
Afgar noted that there were at least 3 more bits and possibly a ceramic piece laying on the ground nearby, in plain sight.

The templar in question refused to comment on the situation. He was later spotted accepting a 3 ceramic bribe to ignore the theft of his short sword, and another 1 ceramic bribe for the subsequent loss of his money pouch.[/COLOR]

Eric Anondson (imagining a discussion in Saragar):
KOSVORET: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have squarks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my bureaucratic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
LAWKEEPER EFKENU: Athasian dolphins.
KOSVORET: [pause] Right.
LAWKEEPER EFKENU: They’re mutated Athasian dolphins.
KOSVORET: Are they ill tempered?
LAWKEEPER EFKENU: Absolutely.
KOSVORET: Oh well, that’s a start.

cnahumck (about the electronic format of Athas.org releases used as a reason to say they aren’t official):
If you want hard cover, go bind them.

Originally posted by nytcrawlr:

[quote]Originally posted by Pennarin
Jon(?) (posting to Strutinan):
Get off your cross, we need the wood.
[/quote]
Eric Anondson actually, but it’s not an original quote.

Originally posted by nightdruid:

[quote]Originally posted by Pennarin
[b]Nightdruid (refering to mixing crack into jello tabletop miniatures):
Heh…I guess the real question then becomes “who is in more danger? The caracters facing that sorcerer-king, or the players ODing on the props…”

[/b][/quote]

Sweet! I made the list of best DS Community Quotes…

Originally posted by eric_anondson:

Those were certainly quite heated discussions back in those days. I don’t like to step down to that level, but back then… well… you had to be there to understand. IMO, it fit the circumstances…

Indeed, it’s not original. I don’t know where, or who first uttered it. I know I have an album by some New York punk band that is called uses the line. I’ve heard it many times before.

Regards,
Eric Anondson

Originally posted by Pennarin:

Well, its how appropriatelly it was used back then that matters.

Notice anything funny in the futur, just bump this post.

Originally posted by jon_oracle_of_athas:

How about:

“Black Knight: I’m invincible.
Arthur: You’re a looney.”

:wink:

Originally posted by Pennarin:

After reading the following comment…
“The whole Mind Lords of the Last Sea plays out like a Star Trek episode anyway, all you’d need is Kirk to beam down and either have them rediscover love and decide their time was past or destroy the computer behind the wall with illogic.”
…Greyorm posted this:

[COLOR=DarkRed]“Captain, it is illogical for dolphins to have evolved and survived in this climate.”

“I…know that…Spock. We are…at the mercy…of TSR’s R&D department. Bones…quick…come up with a dues ex machina…to save us…and end this…terrible episode.”

“Damnit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a script editor! We would need a miracle or a game designer to get rid of this ridiculous section of this setting!”

“Regardless…I’m going to go make it with…that hot Mind Lord – Lady – whatever.”

“Captain! There’s a giant meteor full o’ sleepin’ halflings coming doon on top o’ your position! Its impact is gonna destroy the entire region! I’ve got ta beam ya out noo before it’s too late!”

“Scotty! I haven’t made it with the hot, alien, chick…yet! We…need…more…time!”

(Ironically, the Mind Lords could just send them all back in time…hahahahahaha…so, once sent to the past…)

“Spock, Bones. Tell me…should we…tell…the Mind Lords’ past selves…about…the meteor?”

“I believe that would be a mistake, captain. The sudden and unforseen annihilation caused by the crash-landing of the halfling meteor-spaceship in the Last Sea region is the only event capable of ending the region’s inherent temporal and disbelief-suspension instabilities.”

“Then…we must allow…this meteor…to strike!”

“But Jim, think of the loss of lives! We have a duty to these people to preserve and protect them. And what about the setting integrity?”

“I know…Bones…but think of the cost…to the fans of the setting…if we don’t! These…people…here…in the Last Sea…are just poorly written shells, at the…mercy…of an underpaid development staff…from…a bankrupt…game publishing company. This…is a better end…for them. Scotty…beam us…up.”

“Besides, doctor, setting integrity went out the window when half the Sorcerer Kings were killed at the end of the Prisam Pentad.”

“Why you heartless, green-blooded machine…”

(–whhhheeeeeeeee-- transporter noise…roll credits…)
[/COLOR]

Originally posted by zombiegleemax:

That Strutinian guy was one of the reasons why I stopped posting here for so long. I HATED him.

Originally posted by Grummore:

The problem with him is that he was sure he as a better conversion than anybody… He was not open to any change to IS conversion.

The better part of it is that he was frustrated that athas.org was official and he wasnt. He couldnt understand that despise alllllll is efforts… he wouldnt become official.

Originally posted by nytcrawlr:

[quote]After reading the following comment…
“The whole Mind Lords of the Last Sea plays out like a Star Trek episode anyway, all you’d need is Kirk to beam down and either have them rediscover love and decide their time was past or destroy the computer behind the wall with illogic.”
…Greyorm posted this:
[/quote]
OMG that rules!

Raven rules.

Originally posted by nightdruid:

I’ll just add that there’s a reason I didn’t start posting here until after he “departed” (or went quiet or whatever). How a game can generate so much hostility I’ll never understand

Originally posted by nytcrawlr:

Yeah, Strut was a character, course that’s being nice, heh.

Originally posted by zombiegleemax:

Originally posted by Pennarin:

I’m bumping this for the newbies. Enjoy lads!

Originally posted by kalthandrix:

There was another greyorm classic that he posted to one of my threads - when I used the insure instead of ensure - I will have to find it and send you the link Penn - it was a great one!

Originally posted by Pennarin:

Bumping this for those who haven’t read it before. Priceless! The Star Trek-themed foray made me lose the ability to breathe for a minute :smiley: Just read it outloud while trying to imitate the Star Trek voices and you’ll crack up.

Originally posted by cnahumck:

I don’t know how I missed this before, and I am on it. Thanks Penn.

Originally posted by Oninotaki:

couple of quick comments,

1st: The Star Trek quote is amazing and has totally changed how I feel about the last sea reagion, it just so accurate a description! lol

2nd I completley forgot about that Strut fellow, I still have his conversion floating around somewhere lol how long ago was that? 4 years? 5?

3rd: Anybody have any new quotes to add?

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