So you’re having friends over and you really want a legendary blowout. Who are you inviting and why?
Abalach-Re. Sielba too if she still lived. The other Sorcerer Monarchs are buzzkills at a party.
Agreed with the first two parts of redking’s post, disagree with the third. Lalali-Puy wouldn’t be half bad at a party. Tecktuktitlay would know how to party, but the problem is that he’s also a severe narcissist and bloodthirsty as heck. Most of the others would, I agree, be actively detrimental, though now I’m struck with the mental image of Hamanu and Nibenay at a party. Like, what sequence of events would even have to happen for that to occur?
An auction/party? With some really useful items up for bid?
I think the last time they all got together for a party, the hollow was created and someone ended up as a raging fully metamorphosized Dragon! Now that’s what I call going on a bender!
You can just picture the champions standing around Borys draining life force yelling Chug! Chug! Chug!
This reminds me of funk based alignments by Kellus.
Lawful-Good-Funky (LGF): A character of this alignment follows the rules, attempts to help people rather than hurt them, and is always up on what’s hot and what’s not. He’s the fellow that everyone secretly wants to be: everybody likes him, he never gets in trouble, and he’s just generally awesome.
Lawful-Good-Neutral (LGN): A character of this alignment doesn’t worry about trivial matters such as being cool, but instead concerns himself with the grander scheme of things. He’s the iconic paladin, forgoing rock and roll for, of course, the Greater Good.
Lawful-Good-Square (LGS): Whether he’s an active buzzkill or just generally oblivious, a character of this alignment actively detracts from a cool situation. He brings law and good, of course, but he also goes out of his way to quash any fun he stumbles across as he does it. He’s the town mayor who outlaws fun. You know you hate him.
Lawful-Neutral-Funky (LNF): A character of this alignment values law and funk above all else. He doesn’t worry about how other people will be helped or hurt by his actions- he just cares about grooving out while following the rules! A little effort in following laws and rules means that less time is wasted when you could be partying!
Lawful-Neutral-Neutral (LNN): A character of this alignment values law above all else. Good and evil, coolness and drabness don’t make any difference to him. All that matters is the law, and enforcing it. He’s the quitessential impartial judge, who takes no sides, but deals with matters of pure justice.
Lawful-Neutral-Square (LNS): A character of this alignment sees cool stuff as leading to lawbreaking. In the interest of preserving law and order, this guy stomps out anything rad he can find. Remember: if not having fun will help preserve justice, it’s a small price to pay.
Lawful-Evil-Funky (LEF): Sure, this guy is dominating, scheming, and just plain EVIL, but at least he’s totally gnarly! A character of this alignment twists laws and rules to better suit himself, at the expense of others. But hey: at least he’s friggin’ AWESOME doing it! If you’re having trouble picturing this alignment, think of Asmodeus. That guy kills, man.
Lawful-Evil-Neutral (LEN): A character of this alignment has no regard for groovy things, but is only interested in personal power. The iconic devil, this guy manipulates laws and bends rules to make himself more powerful.
Lawful-Evil-Square (LES): A character of this alignment hates all things funky, probably because he didn’t get enough love as a child. In retaliation against this slight, this guy backstabs and cuts throats to gain power in a corrupt society, and he then uses his power to destroy anything cool he can find.
Neutral-Good-Funky (NGF): Unconcerned with rules, a character of this alignment cares about two things: having fun, and making sure nobody gets hurt in the process. He’s a generally nice guy who likes to party, but also helps people and takes care of them. Remember: it’s only funny until someone gets hurt.
Neutral-Good-Neutral (NGN): A character of this alignment cares only about helping others. As long as he is a good and moral person, who cares about rules or parties? Life is the most precious gift there is, and this guy is here to protect that gift. He forgoes having fun himself to allow others to.
Neutral-Good-Square (NGS): A character of this alignment is very careful, and even paranoid. Coolness inevitably leads, after all, to someone getting hurt. This guy prevents this by not allowing people around him to have fun. Paragons of this alignment, including some outsiders, actively hunt out cool people and places to put the kibosh on. Even if nobody can enjoy themselves, it’s a small price to pay for safety.
Neutral-Neutral-Funky (NNF): Often called the best alignment, and sometimes called “The Funkmaster”. A character of this alignment cares about one thing and one thing only: the pure power of funkitude. He’s always up on what’s new, and is always groovin’. He exudes an aura of pure gnarliness, and makes other people cooler just by being around them. Seriously, this guy rocks.
Neutral-Neutral-Neutral (N): A character of this alignment just doesn’t care. At all. I mean, really: you had 27 alignments to pick from, and you chose to be neutral in every aspect? This guy is the pinnacle of apathy. He’s completely unconcerned, and in many cases clinically brain-dead. Most animals are this alignment, with the exception of dinosaurs (see “The Funkmaster”, above).
Neutral-Neutral-Square (NNS): Commonly called a stick-in-the-mud, a character of this alignment only cares about making sure nobody else enjoys themselves. This guy seeks out cool people and places simply so that he can bust the scene and end the party for everyone. Nobody likes him. I mean, really. You know the kind of guy I’m talking about. This guy just ‘doesn’t get it’.
Neutral-Evil-Funky (NEF): A character of this alignment wants to bring pain and misery to all he meets, but at least he does it with style! The most common example of this alignment is the Groovin’ Dead (see below).
Neutral-Evil-Neutral (NEN): A character of this alignment is dedicated to destroying all things good and pure. Sly and cunning, but also bloodthirsty and vengeful, this guy isn’t constrained by rules as he destroys all things good and pure. In fact, he’s so busy wiping good out of the cosmos, this guy doesn’t pay attention to funkitude one way or the other.
Neutral-Evil-Square (NES): A character of this alignment brings pain and misery, but worst of all, an end to everything cool and awesome! The only thing that matters to this guy is making sure nobody, and I mean nobody, enjoys themselves in any sort of way. Unless said person likes decapitations and defenstrations, in which case they might be cool with it. This is an ideal alignment for big bad guys in the game, since they are, like, the ultimate downers.
Chaotic-Good-Funky (CGF): This is the guy who’s up on everything that’s happining. Unconstrained by such trivialities as ‘rules’ or ‘laws’, a character of this alignment is generally a wanderer who brings funk in his wake. He’s a nice guy, sure- but he’s a partier at heart.
Chaotic-Good-Neutral (CGN): A character of this alignment is a wanderer who does not abide by rules and does not fit into society. Be that as it may, this guy tries to help people and generally be a good guy; even if it means forsaking funk himself.
Chaotic-Good-Square (CGS): A character of this alignment is a great guy who helps people all over the place, and who doesn’t fit into established norms. Unfortunately, his version of ‘helping’ is a little twisted. Not being up on what’s hot and hip, this guy shuts down funkiness wherever he goes, despite his inclination to protect and nurture.
Chaotic-Neutral-Funky (CNF): A character of this alignment follows no rules or laws; that’s just how he rolls! This guy parties hard and often, and is always up on the latest buzz. Everybody knows this guy; despite his nomadic tendencies, and the way he just doesn’t fit in, this guy has connections everywhere.
Chaotic-Neutral-Neutral (CNN): Chaos is the only thing that matters to a character of this alignment. It is through constant change that this guy finds himself, and he dedicates himself to bringing sweeping revolutions wherever he treads. This is a very uncommon alignment for most mortals- due to their chaotic tendencies, they almost invariably end up slipping to one side or the other of the funk axis. Extraplanar paragons are the best examples of this alignment in action.
Chaotic-Neutral-Square (CNS): This rebel from society fits in nowhere, and wants to make sure that nobody anywhere has any fun. A character of this alignment has no regard for good or evil, but simply wanders the world, bringing a wake of unfunk in his path.
Chaotic-Evil-Funky (CNF): A slaughterer, a madman, an insane butcherer, but also really cool! A character of this alignment puts a new spin on psycopathic murderers everywhere, as he jives to the beat while eviscerating his victims.
Chaotic-Evil-Neutral (CNN): Who cares about funk when there are innocent babies to be devoured? The only thing that matters to this guy is carnage and mayhem. Remember: a live civilian is a bad civilian.
Chaotic-Evil-Square (CNS): A character of this alignment is a psycopathic killer, sure. But even worse, he’s totally square! Although happy with most any victim, this guy will generally try to commit his brutality in funky areas, so that the most hip people possible suffer from his rampages.