Famous Athasian Last Words

originally posted by jon_oracle_of_athas

A Player and I were digging through a box of old RPG stuff when we came across a pile of old DS character sheets. We couldn’t help but laugh at some of the ways they had died. So, I figured it was time to open a thread on Famous Athasian Last Words again. If you have some brilliant and not-so-brilliant last words from Athasian characters or GM/Player conversations, please share them with the community. I’ll gather them into a document and post them on Athas Online. All contributors will be credited.

Player: "The elven raiders are shooting at us? I take cover under the mekillot. How much bonus do I get to AC?"
GM (evil grin): “Total cover.”

PC: "Bezrak, someone’s smuggling Shaqat beetles on your caravan."
Bezrak: “Let’s talk about this in my quarters. Stug, come with us”

A PC looks through the keyhole on the door to the meeting chamber when someone taps his shoulder.
NPC: "What are you doing?"
PC: "Shhh. Go away. Hamanu ordered me to watch the meeting chamber."
NPC: "Funny, I can’t remember giving that order."
PC: “… Oh, ****”

PC: "Are you threatening me? Just wait until I tell the templars about your little underground organization. You’re SO dead."
PC #2: "WE’re so dead."
GM: /nods

originally posted by zombiegleemax

“Hey, just how many tembo are in here, anyway?”

originally posted by thegreatmonkey

“We’re only going on a three day trip we only need three days worth of water…”

originally posted by zombiegleemax

“You ain’t gonna drink the last of that, are you.” This was said from one player to another and not in the form of a question. Player in-fighting. Good to the last drop with the 2e madness rules.

originally posted by zombiegleemax

PC- Look a caravan we are saved!
PC#2- Are you sure thats a caravan?
PC- Of course I’m sure, just look at it, and besides if its the raiders we’re looking for we can kill em all before they blink
PC#2- I just hope its a caravan

originally posted by zombiegleemax

(Urik templars are over-correct due to all those Hamanu´s codes.)

Zorik, the Half-Giant (PC): I was now waiting for an hour in the queue. Sir, i need this information. How much does it cost?
The Templar: It costs 5 bit and you can have it by tomorrow morning.
Zorik: Fine. Here you have 10 bit. I surely do not have to wait again tomorrow…
Templar: Corruption! Guards!

originally posted by zombiegleemax

  1. “Hey, bug boy!”

  2. “Don’t worry, he’s not armed.”

  3. “I didn’t think there were tigers on Athas.”

  4. The universal one: “You go this way, I’ll go that way, and we’ll meet back RIGHT HERE.”

  5. “Why is that gith wearing metal armor?”


originally posted by zombiegleemax

“Oh boy, am I hungry. Luck! A halfling camp! Maybe they invite us for dinner…”

originally posted by zombiegleemax

Elf thief to a thri-kreen: “Hey, bug-face! I’m talkin’ to you.
That’s right, you. Move outta my way!”

originally posted by zombiegleemax

What a nice, wellcrafted, moving statue that is … what the F* a moving statue? (Half-Giant)

**What is that metal dagger lying around here???

**To a transparent ghost … Hihi you can’t touch me!!

**(To a Urikite Templar) Do you have the same outfit within the Inner city as they have in Nibenay, cuz that should be a laugh!!

** I know that plant, it doesn’t contain poison

**I haven’t seen that bird around here, it seems rather big and ugly
To Dm: How high is it flying??
DM: about 1500feet
(Obviously this was Borys passing by, actually nothing happened but could have been nice famous words)

originally posted by overelemental

“Der kommer nok en gith gitt.”

originally posted by Grummore

The PCs arrive at the Nibenay South gates…

GM: There are many different species, etc. etc. as well as a couple of cute clothed, half-naked or naked ladies talking among the crowd.

PC: Geez man, I try an “attraction power on the naked one”.

GM: You see two half-giants coming your way…

originally posted by jon_oracle_of_athas

“Der kommer nok en gith gitt.”

(Hehe. Minner om en situasjon hvor karakterene kom over en enslig gith ved et leirbål som satt og stekte en øgle på pinne.)

Translation: “A gith comes along.”

originally posted by zombiegleemax

PC "Wow, I had never seen a cloud ray before. It doesn’t seem that large. I hope it hasn’t noticed me"
DM (me) “That’s because it’s rather far away. But don’t worry, you’re about to get a close-up view”

originally posted by jon_oracle_of_athas

Gladiator PC: “I am undefeated.”

originally posted by zombiegleemax

Quotes from an old game that lead to character demises:

“I charge up the dune.”

“I think we can trust them.”

After being attacked by an elven raiding tribe: “Stop firing, we surrender!”

originally posted by Cyrian

Half-giant PC, in the tunnels leading to Kragmorta at the lava flow cutting the path

“It’s only 25ft wide, I can jump that.”

originally posted by waywreth

So you guys are just going to take my water and leave me here paralyzed? No wait, that wasn’t a suggestion!

Jebus, even the damn cacti try to kill you in this world!

originally posted by jon_oracle_of_athas

It’s word play, the point would be lost if translated.

Btw, here’s another one:

NPC Dwarf: "If you strike me down I will haunt you for eternity!!"
PC: “He’s bluffing! Kill him!”

originally posted by jon_oracle_of_athas

PC: "Blue Shrine? What kind of nutcase would live out here in the middle of nowhere on the edge of the map?"
GM (Jon):